Best of You

I've got another confession to make/I'm your fool/Everyone's got their chains to break/Holdin' you
Were you born to resist or be abused?/Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?/Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Are you gone and onto someone new?/I needed somewhere to hang my head/Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have/But had no use/I was too weak to give in/Too strong to lose/My heart is under arrest again/But I break loose/My head is giving me life or death/But I can't choose/I swear I'll never give in/I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you/Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?/Has someone taken your faith?/Its real, the pain you feel/You trust, you must/Confess/Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?/Oh...

Has someone taken your faith…The life, the love you'd die to heal/The hope that starts the broken hearts/You trust, you must/Confess

I've got another confession my friend/I'm no fool/I'm getting tired of starting again/Somewhere new

"Best of You" - Foo Fighters

During my freshman year at Biola, I played a game where I had to name an animal I’d like to have as a pet and then list 3 reasons why. I had a thing for manatees at the time so I said a manatee, stating the following reasons for my choice: (1) They’re endangered and I’d like to save one, (2) people think they’re ugly but in reality they’re just misunderstood and (3) they’re so graceful in their element, doing what they do best, even if it’s just swimming. I didn’t think too much of it until time passed and I played the game again with other people. Upon telling them my reasons, one of the girls there said, “Oh, so you go for the rebellious type!” I felt like my head exploded. She said that I’m into the type of guy with a “past” and I feel like I can make a difference in his life and that I enjoy what he does even though others might not approve or think it’s cool. Now, looking back at the two relationships I’ve had, it all makes sense.

I have a heart for the “lost”. Nothing gives me more joy than seeing people surrender their lives to God in complete worship, new converts or people just trying to make daily peace with God. I have friends that used to be so involved in ministry and now they’re out doing their own things, living their own lives. It hurts me because they know the Truth, yet they’re so deep into the normality of life that they refuse (yes…refuse, whether they admit it or not) to come back to the life of worship. I feel like I’ve combined that with my last relationship. No he didn’t have the best track record, but who hasn’t done things in their past he/she regrets? It was a tough ride, going up and down a rollercoaster as you’re trying to keep pulling someone up along with you. But I enjoyed every single conversation about callings, ministry and God’s purpose. Now that I’m not there to pray with him, encourage him in the ways of God, I feel…well, helpless! I know it’s not my job to be on him 24/7, and that it definitely shouldn’t be that way in a relationship, but I truly felt like I was doing my part as a godly woman/girlfriend. I was there to support his crazy ideas and listen to all the plans he had for himself, wanting to become a preacher and bring in the lost youth—the same dreams that I have.

All of that is gone now…I lost my partner in crime. All I can do now is pray for him and ask God to continue giving him dreams and visions of what He has planned for him. Pray that God sends him a partner in crime that will push him to be a better person…all the time! Someone who won’t give up, someone that will take all of his corajes and will laugh at all of his dumb jokes, that will sing along with him in the car and give him his weekly facials. I know that saying all of this probably isn’t helping me recover, but at this point, I know that there’s nothing that I can do but just hope for the best. Someone needs to continue praying for him, even if it means just as a friend and at a distance. I just want him to be happy.