The Zephyr Song

"take a look it's on display for you...fly away on my zephyr. i feel it more than ever. and in this perfect weather, we'll find a place together."

so, i had to end this month with my fav rhcp song. i don't know if you've noticed but all of my posts this month (except sunday's) are titles of rhcp songs. we'll see which artist i choose for september. i have a few in mind but nothing too concrete yet. anyways, this song takes me way back to when i was into skating and would go to the beach often. it just makes me feel so free, and like if i was high. haha. not sure if the song fits my feelings right now though. hmm...

things are good. i wouldn't say i'm back to normal yet though, because i still feel that sense of uncertainty. i don't know what's going to happen next, and at this point anything can happen. i'm just scared that it's all going to end again and i'll be left alone and depressed all over again. i don't want to go back to that. just thinking about it...ugh. i never want to see myself, or anyone, ever go through that again. i'm glad i'm in the position of another opportunity, but i feel like i could lose it any minute. i haven't gotten a real answer yet as to what this is, but of course i'm hoping for the best. i just want to be happy again. i just wish he could see how he really makes me feel. well, i'm pretty sure he knows. but i wish he felt the same way. sometimes i'm not sure. it feels real, but at this point, i don't know. he's being very cautious, and i totally understand; he has every right to be cautious. i guess most of it is just me. i've been living in a dark whole for months and i just want to be pulled out. i never thought the person i cared about most could put me through that, over and over again. but it's all over now...i think. i just want to be happy.

so for now, i'll just keep waiting...and waiting...and waiting...
(i guess the song did turn out to match my feelings...i just want to fly away and find a place together...)