Give It Away

"Give it away, give it away, give it away now!"

I don't know what I'm trying to say with this, but I feel like I'm playing limbo right now. I'm constantly asking myself, "Should I? Shouldn't I?" and it's kind of scary. I don't want to lose again. I've gone through so much these past couple of months and if I mess this up (again) I'll beat myself up...big time!!! I have no idea how much to give up, how much to open up and especially how much to hold back.

I just wish I could jump in and give it everything, but I can't; it's not up to me. I have other people to think about, and ultimately that decision is not mine. I've been through this before and I have to guard my heart. This wouldn't be the first time that I believed that I had another chance, because it's happened before and I've come out of it hurt. But something about this time feels different. But I still don't know. I've had a lot of issues through all this, thinking how it was all my fault, and in part it was, but I've come out stronger because of this. I'm a good catch. I've had to learn to value myself and see myself for who I am and appreciating myself. I've got a lot to offer. But we'll see what happens. If the opportunity comes, I'll open up and give it all away again. I just want to be happy again.