Snow

"The more I see the less I know. The more I like to let it go oh...woa woa woa"

It’s so easy to fall back to where I was not so long ago. One look, one touch, one word, and I’m sent flying right back to where I started. But I am proud to say that it’s not as bad as before. I’m much stronger than I used to be. I think I’ve been slapped in the face with reality so many times that I’ve become smarter about my choices and what takes over my mind—what I allow it to think and dominate my thoughts.

These past two days have been…interesting. I’m not going to lie, but it’s something that I’ve wanted for a looong time. I did my best to keep my wall up, and although I couldn’t keep it as strong as I wanted to, I’m pretty darn proud of myself. I just hope that I can keep it up with whatever life throws at me next.

I hold on to the truth that God makes all things work together for my good. I haven’t been seeking God as I should be in these moments of trial and confusion, but I recognize that I’ve come to a point where I can’t keep doing it on my own—I need help. And today, I call out to the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and ask for His help to save me and pull me out of this state that I’m in. God, I know that You are might to save and I gladly trade my sorrow and my pain for this unspeakable joy that only You can give.

Fresh start.