"Walking with each other, think we'll never match at all, but we do
But we do, but we do, but we do..."
can I just say that i love Adele? however, the only reason that i still listen to her is because of her poetic and oh-so-emotional lyrics. sadly, they still remind me of that dark hole i was in this summer when i listened to her music with such intensity, hoping to find some sort of remedy. i know she'll never read this, but i want to say thank you to Adele for sharing her feelings and stories with the world and for taking the time to put it together so eloquently for our souls to enjoy.
anyways, i'm glad to be where i am. of course, things could always be better (no duh!). but after the whirlwind that was 2011, i'm just happy to be standing, let alone still hold two jobs (of which one might become a permanent soon) and still be involved in my ministries. God has been beyond amazing and been sooooo good to me. i mess up time and time again and He continues to rescue me, sweep me off my feet and walk me into marvelous light. LOVE IT!!!
i'm currently in a 21 day fast from sweets, junk food and pretty much anything that i love and am obsessed with. however, due to my weight and health issues, i have decided to include certain junk food, such as meals. i can't take meals out of my diet when i need to gain weight. but oh boy, it has been extremely tough. i decided to go with sweets because i knew that it would be a struggle. i didn't want to do a no-breakfast fast because i never eat breakfast and it wouldn't be a real sacrifice. i couldn't take out another meal like lunch or dinner because my body needs it to go back to a healthy weight (i lost a lot of weight over the summer due to my depression...). so i went with what i love most, which are sweets and junk snacks like popcorn, chips, soda, cupcakes, etc. it's been difficult because of the holidays, gatherings, parties, etc., but God has helped me to be strong. He knows how many times it's crossed my mind to "cheat," but He's reminded me each time that the end result will be so much more worth a tiny cookie or cupcake.
now, the reason for my choice of song...i'm happy. God has been doing awesome things in my "relationship" with this kid. He did an amazing thing by turning "kid's" life around, having him preach and be a youth leader. not only has he changed his ways but he now has a greater mind-set; bigger is no longer impossible. he does have his moments when his struggles get the best of him, but we all fail and luckily for us, God's grace allows us to start again and continue. he actually fights for us and i've seen a change in how he acts in public and in private. we yell, scream, argue and go on about the dumbest things but this kid won't leave me! haha! that's how i know he's a keeper. there were times in the past when i worried about whether we would still be together after an argument, but each time he recognizes his emotions at the moment and assures that of course we'll still be together. boys and gentlemen reading this, a woman loves to feel secure. and i feel that along with that, a man loves to feel that his "possessions" are secure as well. i guess it's a pride thing. but yes, we may fuss and fight, but who doesn't. he makes me laugh so much and takes really good care of me. he's such a sweetheart and i can't imagine being with anyone else. our story is weird and crazy, but it works. these 2+ years have been a sunny day within a thunderstorm, but God has great plans for us and i just pray that He works with our hearts and the hearts of those who still choose not to accept this.
greater things are yet to come...
